Oscar. Mars Conjunct Ascendent Synastry

When your Ascendent is in Cancer, It's a Different Story

Strong desires and undeniably relevant synastry during Venus and Mercury Retrograde, Mars moving slowly through Cancer, Jupiter in Gemini, and Neptune square my natal Moon from Aires. This is my life in the beginning months of 2025 in Mexico City.

This morning Oscar was sitting on the stairs, by himself. He must have known I would pass him when I arrived. But then again, the only thing I’ve learned for sure about him is how different we are from one another. I crossed the wide stairs from the railing to the columns where he was sitting to say good morning. He was looking at his phone. All he gave in return was an obligatory inaudible return greeting. He could have been too scared or unavailable, and he was sitting there so that I would break through it but I'm not up for doing that. 

I wish I could get to know him more or get some sign from him that my feelings that I have toward him, which are strong, are mutual. There have been some. But I didn't take any of them seriously. They just seemed like signs to keep going forward in order to get the ultimate verification. 

I doubt people's real interest in me. I have to have constant proof. I’ve found it in sex, which doesn’t seem to be coming quickly with Oscar.

I wanted my slow progress with Oscar to mean nothing. I hate that it frustrates me so much.  It seems so immature to get so bent out of shape absent instant gratification. I wanted to enjoy his smiles he gave me from across the library, and his polite questions he peppered me with, but they were always mixed with blatant delays, like his taking his time to take me up on the coffee date I proposed last week. 

Sitting inside the library after he snubbed me on the stairs I vowed that it was time to leave him behind and try to focus on other things. Maybe other guys, but definitely other things. 

But whenever I try to put Oscar down some idea comes up on what to do next. I remembered him and his best friend sitting on the steps of the library last week. Each on their own side of the wide staircase. They were far enough apart to be completely separate, but they were connected by something. Something only they knew. Something I could only guess. Something stronger than the flirty words he and I exchanged whenever each of us caught the other alone for a moment. 

Oscar and his friend were like two men in an impressionist painting, but instead of flutes and picnic food they had their cellphones. Whatever it was they busied themselves with, they had already overcome the gaping barrier that seemed to separate me from the object of my desire. So they could relax. They could do what the world had brought them together to do. 

I thought it would be nice to try it out myself. I’d go outside and take my own seat on the stairs and just be near him and be entertained by what he did. The thought sounds creepy, to my Mars in Capricorn, who would rather be invisible than rejected or embarassed. 

When I took my seat I saw that two of his friends had joined him and they were all talking. I enjoyed the beautifully hot, dry, and breezy spring morning in Mexico City. I gazed at him frequently. He was leaning back on a column and his legs were spread out wide and casually. He had one leg of his pants pulled up exposing his pale leg to the sun. 

He turned around and looked at me, our eyes met, he smiled an awkward smile. He had caught me looking at him, and I had caught him looking at me. And that was okay with both of us. This was new for me. But I was enjoying it. And I could tell that Oscar was too. 

I feared that he would feel weird knowing that I was staring at him. Like a predator hunting prey. But to my surprise he didn’t. And suddenly I realized that I was experiencing desire and sexuality and pursuit differently. I was experiencing Mars differently. I was experiencing Venus diferently. 

Mars Conjunct Ascendent

Oscar has Mars in Cancer, and I have Mars in Capricorn. Our Mars’ are opposite. To make things more interesting my ascendent is also in Cancer conjunct his Mars. 

I began using this library to write everyday in the beginning of March, when Venus first went retrograde and Mars was stuck at 17° Cancer. 

So many will tell you that Mars conjunct Ascendent expresses itself in synastry as a hot attraction and steamy sexual chemistry. But broad statements always have exceptions and, unfortunately for me, Cancer ascendents will have to develop this with Mars in cancer and that is a tough endeavor. 

The hot attraction is no problem. But Mars in cancer is kind of a disappointment for those looking for quick sexual satisfaction. 

Instead there are misfires, the Cancer retreats into his shell at all the wrong times and becomes unreachable. This is frustrating and humiliating for Mars in capricorn. The misfires make my Mars in capricorn want to label this pursuit as a no go and move onto the next one. 

But Oscar isn’t letting this happen. He is reciprocating but in a very ineffective way. Mars in Cancer isn’t really focused on closing the deal the way that Mars in Capricorn is. Mars in Cancer is watery, it is undefined, it is wishy washy. 

Fortunately for me, the world values how Mars in Capricorn works. It is a placement I'm grateful for. It makes things easy for me. But that doesn't mean that I can’t benefit from learning how other Mars placements work. And that is what my intense attraction to Oscar seems to be teaching me. 

This is one of the most valuable things Astrology has given me. A real framework for examining the idea that another person may actually have a different makeup than me. Venus retrogrades are known for this. I also find retrogrades to always sneak up on me even though I see them coming months away. 

So I’m pretty happy with how things are going with him. I’ve let go of the idea that something solid and Capricorny will happen with him. But my attraction is still there and each day brings developments. I’m watching in a detached Zen Like way, I’m breathing when I don’t get my way and I’m letting the experience teach me something.

It honestly wouldn’t be my choice of how to do things but desire is not a one way street, and I’ve never been able to pick who it is that casts that magic spell over me. But how I react to it can determine the type of person I end up being.  

Jupiter in Gemini

Right now Jupiter is in Gemini, the twin sign. My experience with Oscar makes me think of what Robert Hand wrote about Jupiter, the planet that rules my sun. He talks about two expressions of Jupiter. One is the fiery insatiable monster who wants more and more and more; who gets mad when his needs are not immediately satisfied. Overfed, oversexed, overstimulated, intoxicated, and just an absolute monster. This would be Jupiter in Sagittarius.

Then there is Jupiter who looks for boundaries by which to control his expansion. Once these boundaries are defined Jupiter can feel like a gentle stream of water that is slowly filling up a glass, gracefully taking the form that the glass gives to it. This is Jupiter in cancer. 

This is the energy that Oscar is showing me. It is not natural to me but as a Sag Sun, ruled by Jupiter I’m finding it very natural to take this form and I’m enjoying it. 

Every day Oscar brushes his teeth in the shared library bathroom. He takes like 20 minutes there. The bathroom is where I first broke the ice with him because we kept looking at each other through the mirror. These days I usually let him be by himself because I don’t want to interrupt a ritual that he seems to value a great deal. 

I have a fantasy of going in there, looking at his eyes through the mirror, getting close to him, and as soon as he thinks i’m going to lean in to kiss him, I’ll instead reach for his bottle of purple Listerine, take a swiff, I’ll leave the bathroom to check to see if the coast is clear, when I know nobody will walk in to interrupt us I’ll walk back casually and confidently, spit the listerine sloppily into the sink, and then reach in and kiss him passionately and sanitarily. I’ll grab onto his slim waist with one hand and his neck with the other. 

This is Jupiter in Sagittarius and it is the more natural expression for me. This is where my mind takes me and maybe one day the stars will allow this to happen. But for now I’ll have to be content with how things are. And that’s okay.